WEEK 12

If you don't go get me Chipotle right now, I am pretty sure I am going to have to punch you in the face.

^That right there was the heart warming pickup line I used on my boyfriend as he walked into the house today. I sure he was completely smitten by it. But HECK YES, I got my Chipotle and life is good.

I wanted to wait till I was at week 12 to make this blog, just because I wanted to wait a while to get the news moving around out there about my bun in the oven.
 Being 18 and pregnant is certainly not exactly what I thought was in my deck of cards, but I suppose this is what life is all about; crazy experiences.

I figure this is the part where I pour out my intense story to all of you all. I've always been a little itty bitty dramatic--but I mean I think being dramatic (yet truthful) here is completely justified :)

January 9th, 2012- Wake up thinking " Jesus, is this flu ever going to go away?"
Promply followed by my dearest mother walking in to my room and throwing a pregnancy test on the bed telling me to take it.
A few days prior, I told my mom my period was late. She and I both agreed it had to be due to me being sick; I was on the birth control shot so we didn't assume pregnancy was a possibility.
More days go by, at this point I am more bipolar than usual and sleeping literally 16 hours out of the day. ( I think maybe when I started crying over the milk being 2% and not skim, and me "turning into a fat whale" may have got her thinking that I may indeed have human life growing inside of me.)

So I peed. But not on the test. Way too scared.
Waited a few hours.
It was now or never---I was going to pee on that stick because in the words of Juno, " this is one doodle that cant be un-did."
So I took out that stick, awkwardly stuck it under me, and I opened the flood gates.
"PREGNANT" Stupid Clearblue Digital. You have failed me.
To my surprise my Mom was supportive, she actually was excited because "she would no longer have to buy clothes for the dog, and now she could dress a baby!"
My boyfriend was also extremely excited after the initial shock.
Along with my father..
two sisters...
all of his family...
my extended family.
But me?
Not so much.
I worked so hard all throughout High School to get into a good college, travel the world, and live it big time. I got into all 5 of my dream schools, and I pretty much had to kiss them all goodbye and say hello to Community College (which by the way is a perfectly fine education.) It has been really hard for me because getting into these colleges was my long term goal; the reason I worked my butt off for 4 years. Now it was all kissed goodbye.

I felt myself slipping. I really tried to look at all my options. I did look into abortion but I just did not feel like it was the right choice for myself. I looked at adoption and eventually came to the conclusion that was not right for the situation either. I got myself into this, and with all the wonderful support I was blessed with, I was going to get through this and give this child the best life possible.

January 17th, 2012
I started getting some serious anxiety about going to school, so I stopped going and started working out a setup with my counselors due to my situation. I've seen girls go through my school and get ridiculed for being pregnant. Everyone quickly assumes that you are a slut, you must have just been careless, or that you "wanted" this to happen.

I really needed to avoid that, so I started doing homebound schooling. It is pretty awesome actually, and I freakin love it. I have all the same work my fellow students have, except I get to do it from the comfort of my home with a really awesome tutor in my pajamas. WIN! I dont plan on hiding this child in a closet or anything, but I want people finding out on my own terms, and hearing the story from me.

Anyways, the 17th was the first day of my ultrasound at a local womens center. It was certainly an experience I will not forget because they tried converting me to become Catholic ( Lutheran over here, woot woot!) and made me watch what felt like a 100 hour video on the dangers abortion and using birth control have. They said if you were on the pill or got an abortion you were more likely to get certain types of cancer. It was also followed up by them showing me the size of a baby throughout the first trimester---so odd that at five weeks they already look like a mini gerber baby, sucking the thumb and all. PLEASE. I (quite ironically) took an advanced health class and watched a documentary on places like this just weeks before this all went down & I knew what I was getting myself into--but I still went because I really wanted that free ultrasound since I couldnt get in to my real doc until the 31st. I totally understand what these women believe in, and they are entitled to their beliefs.They are a pro-life center, and that is completely fine with me; more power to them!  I just do not agree with giving out false information on the developmental stages of human life. It honestly made me a little upset.

The Back Room

Ah, time for the ultrasound. It was now my boyfriends turn to sit through the 100 hour video while I got all set up to see the little peanut.
I always imagined them putting that gel on my tummy and bada bing bada boom theres baby up on the screen.
WELL, HELL NO.

Before I knew it they were asking me to undress and spread the legs. Oh dear god. I just was not ready for that. Then they had me insert which can only be described as a giant hand held remote control in there. Just my luck, the ultrasound tech was new, and she was certainly not gentle. I felt like my insides were being torn apart. It took her about 7 minutes to find my uterus, and then she had to call in other women to tell her what she was looking at. So it was me, an ultrasound tech, five volunteer women, and my exposed hooha chillin together in the room, Ah, wonderous experience indeed.

Atleast I got the information I needed.
I was exactly 6 weeks along.
my DD was September 9th.
AND THANK THE LORD! ITS NOT TWINS!

We got a free little picture of the little nugget, and a beautiful pamplet with detailed pictures of an abortion procedure as a parting gift. I also recived free baby stuff---but before I took it home I had to sign a release form saying it was not their fault if it was poisened in any way. A little shady, no doubt.

January 31st:

The real ultrasound.
I have to admit it was a little laughable sitting in the waiting room with my boyfriend and my mother amongst all of these women who were 30+. I felt like the black sheep, and honestly yes I was embarassed to be there. I wish I could have been some famous person who had the doctor come to me...but nope.

We got in the waiting room, and in walks in a nurse who sounded just like that hilarious spanish lady ( sophia vergara? I dont know...) who was my nurse. I fell in love. She was so hilarious. She said "Oh my god, you are half my age! Luckily you dont have to get any major tests because you are young, but by the time I have kids they'll be testing me like a lab rat!" She also gave me 200 dollars worth of free prenatal viatmin samples which matched the prescription I had. Which was super amazing because I need to save up as much money as possible.

Then in walks my OBGYN. Once again, LOVE HER. My nurse described her as "a tiny cute chinese lady with a big attitude!" That is exactly what she was. I loved her because she was real with me, but she did not judge me. I was really afraid I would have a doctor that looked down on me due to my age and the situation. We talked about insurance, parenting classes, things to avoid, etc. I may sound like a goof, but I honestly have done a lot to make sure I am prepared as possible for this child. And she has been a great help with that.

My little smurf measured 8weeks 1day and still had the DD of September 9th.
strong heart beat at 170!

( it would be pretty cool if it came a little early so it would be born on my grandpas birthday...We'll see!)
January 27th, 12:08 am

Alright so I am pretty sure I am 12weeks and 1 day today. I just spent all this time trying to get you all caught up and now I cant talk in present tense! yesssssss.

Today is my 12 week appt.
I am really excited because I get to hear the heartbeat. I am a pretty negative thinker, so I am nervous too. I have heard some pretty sad things on a lot of the forums I have joined online for support. I just really hope this little bean is in tip top shape.

I will post again later today, and maybe even throw in a picture!
(along with the last 2 ultrasound pics!) woopie!
Everyone loves those cliche belly-mirror pics ;)But first, heres a weekly survey I am going to start filling out!

How far along? 12 weeks 1 day 

Due date: 09-09-2012
Total weight gain/loss: -1 pound
Maternity clothes? Not yet, but I am certainly rockin the yogas because my hips parting like the red sea.
Sleep: way too much; I literally cant help it. I fell asleep eating dinner, sitting outside, doing homework, . . . I must be making up for the lack of sleep  I usually get.
Best moment this week: my wonderful boyfriend getting me Chipotle <3 He is a GOD.
Food cravings: ^ mexican food. Also special K vanilla almond.
Symptoms: Fatigue and mood swings. Becides that I feel perfectly fine.
Labor Signs: nada, still got a lot of cookin' to do.
Stretch Marks  :( On my hips. Honestly I was a size 6 twelve weeks ago, and even though I havent gained anything I am starting to look like the result of j-lo and kim kardashian if they had a baby. big bootay big bootay. The jeans aint fittin'.
Swelling? just bloated feeling, but I mean, thats gonna happen after eating a burrito the size of my head.
Belly Button in or out? It is so far in that it looks like a black hole. Ive always had what I like to call "cushioning" but now that theres a bun in the oven, I can tell theres even more. Not cool man, not cool.
What I miss: being able to wear tight figure flattering dresses. I have a formal in about two weeks and none of my friends know yet...so I will be wearing a dress that'll make me look like a cupcake.
Feeling toward Pregnancy: Scared, not fully settled in to all of this yet. But I am slowly getting more excited. I think hearing the heartbeat tomorrow will make things feel really real. On a lighter, yet depressing note; I am kind of pissed I am still as flat as a board---rockin them AA's like no other! I heard pregnancy was supposed to make you fill out up there. Still looking like a 12 year old boy. SUCKS. Pregnancy 1 Skyler 0.
What I am looking forward to: Getting all the major things figured out. I got my insurance figured out, the babys insurance in the works, signed up for classes, and joined a lot of support groups. I also have got a gym membership that has daycare while you work out (WIN!) so that'll be nice. Just looking foward to less stress so I can breathe. My family is amazingly wonderful though, I would not be able to do this without them.


(I apologize for all of the typo's in here, but I honestly am too lazy to even look at spell check right now!)