wooo hoooo SICK :(

I HAVE THE WORST COLD OF MY FREAKIN' LIFE.
(just saying....Anyways,...)

I am getting all these cute little cards from everyone in my family telling me about all the joys and glorious moments in pregnancy, and I really want to write them all back and say "LIARS!!!!!!"

First of all, the last time I checked, sneezing, belching, and farting all at the same time is probably someone that most people wouldnt smile admirably at. (dont judge me)

Secondly, the last time I checked, no one likes watching commercials about grilling hamburgers and bursting into tears. I mean, really? Hamburgers? woooow.

There is also this one thing, a little bit TMI, but I must say it.

WHO LIKES GETTING OUT OF THE SHOWER AND LOOKING AT THEIR NAKED SELF TO DISCOVER THEIR HIPS LOOK LIKE THEY WERE CLAWED BY A TIGER AND THEIR STOMACH LOOKS AS ROUND AND MIGHTY AS THEIR BIG OLD GRANDPA? ( I love you grandpa papa, but no one can pull off a belly like you can :])

As you can probably tell, today was a dark day for me. A very dark day indeed.

I put on one of my t-shirts from my ultimate frisbee that weeks ago fit loosely and comfortably.
Today...It was different. I looked like that Gus Gus from cinderella or that one reject chipmunk I always forget the name of...I'm just not as cute...

"Thats right, 100% natural baby."

"OMG! Is that really MY BUTT?!"

So yeah, I haven't been feeling all that WONDEROUS lately like my usual self.
Like I said, I havent gained weight yet, but I couldnt be more bloated if I tried.
I see pictures of me 3 months ago, and I honsetly look like ive put on atleast 15 pounds.
AGHHHH.



I am ashamed for being a giant butthead:

I would  like to publicly apologize for bashing on the drunk cheerleader at turnabout. And sticking all cheerleaders into that giant cliche...truth is you all are freakin hot. And most of you arent like the drunk cheerleader. . . And I am jealous because I look like I ate one of you for dinner. I am sorry. (kind of). I also cant even do a cart wheel, so that might have resulted in some repressed hatred as well. And to my friends who are cheerleaders who read this once they figure out I am preggers, sorrrrrrrrry. But I figure you'll get a lot of jokes in about me too so I'll consider us even for now :) You know I love you, but I hate you right now for your stupid washboard abs and ability to stay on beat when clapping. I have never had that skill ( I know, pathetic) and that is another reason as to why I am jealous of you people. . .

Truth is who isn't jealous sometimes? THE ANSWER IS NO ONE!!!

There are so many pretty people around here that honestly I cant go anywhere without giving some innocent stranger an evil glare from afar. I am sorry for that too, random lady at PetCo.

I am really trying to get better, but I think until I can truly rock the baby bump, I will be doomed.



Only 4 more days of this secrecy, then the truth comes out. I am telling everyone I can in one day to just get it out of the way. I can't hide from it forever...obviously. And with the rate my body is changing I am sure I have less than 2 weeks before strangers will notice.

"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory."

This is incredibly true. No one can really appreciate happiness unless they have experienced despair. Going through troubling experiences in life is what makes little things like good weather or warm coffee so profoundly beautiful sometimes. People ask why God makes sad things happen; and I have realized it is because He knows we need to experience it in order to appreciate all the little good things when they come around.


See Ya'll in the mornin'...Which is about 4:30pm tomorrow for me. . . keep that in mind :)