Late Night Worries on Steroids!

Saaaahhh-weeeeeeeehhhht Baby Jesus.

Insomnia. Well, I would not call it that. I guess my sleep schedule is out of whack; I am now falling asleep around 5:30am and waking up around 1pm. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

No breakfast :( Pancakes just dont taste the same at 1 in the afternoon.
[but taste wonderous at 3am ;) ]

I am getting a healthy amount of sleep now, and I am pretty much out of my 16 hours of sleeping habit I had the first 11 weeks, but now its just timing. And I am horrible at adjusting back to normal.

What ever do I do with during these lonely hours?

I spend most of them on www.babycenter.com
I like to creep on whats going on inside of me.
THE SMURF NOW HAS FINGERPRINTS.

 Speaking of hands and feet, This is going to sound extremely weird, but I really hope the kid gets Colin's feet.
I absolutely hate feet. The only peoples who's feet I like are Colins, Ashleys, and my Dads. Why? Because they all have extremely squishy feet. My mom has the feet of some kind of prehistoric creature (sorry mom if you read this) and I dont want to doom my child with such a curse. There is a 50/50 chance I could end up with these dinosaur feet. I guess I will have to wait until im 41 like my mom----Oh, I mean 35 ;)

On the other Hand---oh I am too punny. Get it? (because I am about to talk about hands...and it was a pun, so I said punny and punny rhymes with funny! whaaat noooowww Dane Cook?!) Ok, anyways. I hope That the child doesnt get my hands Mine are too small and too dainty and I am left handed and always had trouble at craft time... and life is just hard and oh my god am I really crying over this? Hormones.
 I sound like such a creep now. But I warned you of that earlier.

Those are really my only requests. I am quite aware that smurf could come out looking like anyone.
I have one sister who looks like she jumped the border out of Mexico. My other sister is a green eyes pale and freckled red head looking like a Irish Lass. I, of course, am the boring one who can't fake an accent and get away with it. Life is hard.

I feel like Colin and his siblings all look the same. Especially his brothers; they all have the dark hair and same exact smile.

My sister Sam, the mexican, gives me nightmares. She tells me that I am going to have a tan baby with bright red hair a huge nose who is 3 feet tall with a squeaky voice and a hairy back.

That is the only combination I am afraid of.

Becides that, I really do pride myself on being pretty open minded and accepting.

If I have a boy and he grows up to find he is obsessed with fashion & Theatre, cool beans.
If I have a daughter and in 16 years she introduces me to her girlfriend, right on.
If I have a kid who is not a Nebraska Cornhuskers fan, I suppose I will be able to live but it will be tough.
If they become a vegan and decide to run away and live in a hut on some remote island, wear sun screen.


I am pretty sure Colin loves that about me, and its great because he is the same way.

One thing he does not love about me though is that I am a Packer fan.
We were at the beloved walmart and I had to claw a baby Bears jersey out of his hands ;)


Luckily we both like the White Sox ( they were my first baseball game---awwwh) and I would like to carry on that tradition for my kiddo too!



UPDATE!

I still havent gained any weight, but am still wondering how I am expanding so much... It is quite frightening....

UPDATE!

I am enrolling in some college classes while in HS so I can get ahead and wont be too behind when the little nut comes jumpin' out of me!

UPDATE!

I have officially became an extreme cuponer. I am talking I have a stack about 9 inches high of cut out cupons, mailed in cupons, internet cupons, etc. My best save is for a 58 pack of diapers for FREE! and they are those super cute huggies ones that look like blue jeans---rollin' like a big shot.

Does not really count as a cupon, but I won a drawing thingie and I got a free monkey teether. It is simply adorable.

Babies are expensive, but If I have the force on my side, I shall be saving $$ one click or snip at a time!


UPDATE!

Colin gave me a gallon of applejuice and I drank half of it in 10 minutes just now as I typed all this. Yeah, thats not going to help me fall asleep.


Did I mention I love this guy?
He has been trying to get me to marry him with ringpops (jokingly, of course...he knows I have expensive taste...mwuwaahahhaa his problem) since June 16th. I say no every time because I want a better speech. He's too much of a cheese ball. Then when he gets it simple, I tell him he is not enough of a cheeseball. He has started incorporating chocolates into this ritual, so now I am just trying to see what else I can get out of him. Like more chocolate or a gatorade or a trip to hawaii or a million dollars...I dunno.

This blog is honestly quite theraputic. I am becoming more excited just being able to feel like I am talking to someone and they are nodding their head listening no matter how irrational or crazy I am. It is simply fantastic.

I have had a lot of trouble accepting everything going on, but honestly a lot of prayer and good ol' Adele has helped me as well. I was 'Rolling in the Deep' with trouble ( there I go again with the puns, I cant help it!) and it was like I got Saved ( oh there I go again...thankyou Jesus!)

The Final Fears

1. How will my friends react?

All of my friends are responsible and have good morals just like me, and we all know everything about eachother. We are like a little happy family circa 2000. It is just going to be tough on some of them---not because I am pregnant, but because I had to hold off telling them for so long.

I was planning on going to Mexico with one friend for spring break, but I had to last minute cancel and could'nt explain why. I felt really bad for that, I mean, I would be pissed if I were her.

I've been flaky lately too just due to everything going on with homebound schooling, doctors appointments, my odd sleeping habits.

They are also probably wondering why half of my facebook updates are about food commercials...

I am a worse case scenario thinker, so part of me does think that I am going to lose friends over this. It may be due to judgment, or it could be due to College and everyone drifting apart.

Very tough.

I just hope at the very least I will have Ashley; she has been my best friend since basically I can remember and it would kill me if I lost her as a friend.

2. Education

Like I said before I busted my butt for good grades. College is happening for me. No matter what. I dont care if I have to do crazy hours, online classes, or take 10 years...but it is happening and I will make a great life and be successful. That just has to happen for me or else my mind will explode and bad things will happen >:)

I got a few things I am considering
- Special Needs Teacher
- Art Teacher
- Dental Hyg.
- Nurse
- Baker

It is a slightly broad list, and thats why I need to narrow it down. Some of these have degrees that only take 2 years, others can take 6 or 7. I love them all fairly equal. So I am probably going to narrow it down to which ones make more $$ and I can graduate with sooner. Plus, I got to factor in the job market. Sadly, that crosses off baker and art teacher. Medical field is always expanding due to those baby boomers living forever now and everyone else in general, so Nurse and Dental hyg stay on the list. Ill keep special needs teacher on there too. Now it comes down to hours. Nurse is crossed off. I cant have crazy hours with a little kid running around---I want to be able to see them as much as possible.

New list:
- Dental hyg.
- Special Needs Teacher.

hmmm....
I love teeth, and I am obsessed with smiles, so Dental Hyg it is. good salary, flexible hours, and more time to be a mommy :) The degree takes anywhere from 2 to 4 years...with a kid it will be 4. So I will be working when they go off to pre-k! sweet deal.

yayayayya. I just figured out my future at 4:06am.

I am a planner if you did not already notice.

I want to make sure I am happy with my life, and be thankful for all the support I have. But I also want to make sure I can provide too. I just really want the best for this smurf. It really isnt about me anymore, they are what is important now.

(:

This is probably my longest blog. I apologize, just a lot of thinking. I will spend the next hour on www.babycenter.com until I am tired enough to fall asleep.

See you next time ;)!